Obsessive
“Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.”
Ok, maybe my last post was getting a little out of hand. It’s nice to have honest folks like you to crush my dreams bring me back to reality and tell me that I’m quite possibly nuts when thinking about doing a 1/2 IM in two months when just two weeks ago I was having ITB pain. I suppose that after taking a few months off, when you finally do get that endorphin hit it’s all that much better. Honestly, if the drug addicts out there knew what a powerful drug it is and that you could get it for free, all the dealers would be out of jobs.
But I digress. Such is the story of my life. Not the dealing and drugs, but my obsessive nature. I joke about having OCD because usually, once my mind get focused in on something it’s difficult for me to stop thinking about it until there is some sort of closure. Ironman makes me focus and provides my obsessive nature that closure. Not to mention that has that whole side effect of keeping you healthy and fit. This, of course, compared to my off-season vice for the past two years of playing World of Warcraft. There, I’m equally focused and obsessive, but the whole health aspect there, in numerous regards, in lacking.
I suppose it’s my nature not to do anything in moderation. “Anything worth doing is worth doing obsessively or not doing at all” would be a fitting motto for me. This attitude probably isn’t particularly good for me, but I’m not sure it’s all bad. This everything in moderation thing that we have going on in this country, I believe, causes us to get too complacent with things. Soon “moderation” becomes the norm and you find yourself moderating into other areas and the cycle continues. My usual approach that I take avoids this in between area and instead forces you to choose – black or white, because grey is not an option.
“If I can’t get a wall mounted plasma TV, then I guess my old 12 year TV will work.”
“If I’m not having fruits and vegetables this meal, I might as well eat a whole pizza.”
“If I can’t do Ironman, I might as well do nothing at all.”
And there you have it. That’s pretty much the attitude that I’ve carried now for the past couple of months and what I’m struggling with as of late. I’m trying to break the mold and trying to find some happy medium (not just for triathlons but for other aspects of my life), but bad habits are hard to break. It’s too bad that a 70.3 mile race is only labeled a “1/2″. By the title alone, it tells me that I’ve really only done half a race and that doesn’t appease the OCD at all. If it has to be that 1/2s or short course is all I can do, I’ll have to accept it and hopefully I will still enjoy my season. Still, I can always hope for something more.